sing sing sing

I really love music.  Like I'd probably die without it.  Tell me I'm insane and obsessed, but I kinda am. :)

I wasn't sure what to write about but I knew I wanted to write a post so I decided that I would post all the songs that have really been inspirational for me lately.  So yeah, I don't really have to explain most of them, but I might.  :)

This is turning out to be waay longer than I thought it would be.  But I feel like I need to put them ALL up here. :)  Just a little warning: a lot (if not all) are sad songs or have a sad meaning.  But hey, I need it.  Just like I need to kill your time with hours of music. =D

My friend sent this to me once on facebook and she said that if you switch my name out with Emily's, it's my song. :)  Thanks, you know who you are! =D

I know I posted this a couple days ago but I love this song so let's post it again, shall we?? :)

Look up the lyrics and it'll make sense.  I'm scared that I don't matter.  I'm lost and I need to be found (hey that's a Britt Nicole song!).  No one listens to me anymore and my heart has broken down.  I don't have to move so I'm gonna turn around. :)

This song keeps telling me that no matter how many people tell me I'm not pretty, I'm fat, I'm just not that great, they're wrong.  Who says I can't be star?  Who says?

They don't have a music video for this song and that makes me sad.  :(  But I'm serious when I say that I say these lyrics to my mirror every single morning.

I'll admit, she's a little overdramatic.  But I'm so tired of trying to become what you want me to be.  It's killing me and I'm done.  If I want to straighten my hair or wear eyeliner, let me.  I'm gonna be who I want to be.  We've all got our scars, I've got mine, you have yours.

I remember one time I was at my house alone and I was cleaning the kitchen with my iPod plugged into the speakers.  It was on shuffle and this song came on.  I remember falling on the floor and crying.  The lyrics about killed me because they were so real.  I haven't prayed for an escape.  I just pray that God won't forget my way out, I know he's got one now.  I just have to trust it.

I keep trying to remember that people are there and they won't let me go.  This song keeps reminding me that I can't just give up.  Even if someone is there for me, I can't give up.

I know I don't cut myself, but I can relate to this song.  It scares me that I can, but I can.  My mom doesn't like listing to it, she thinks it's too depressing.  It is, I mean, I can't listen to it without crying.

I remember listening to this song when I was so ready to leave this stupid place and I realized that I need to stop.  I need to stay here because God wants me here.  There's some plan for me that I don't know about yet and I have to wait it out.  But sometimes I hit these times in my life where I wonder if it would actually matter if I was gone, if anyone would miss me, if I kept on trying if it would be worth it.  I know I have to keep trying because it is worth it.  Not sure if people would really miss me, but I know it's worth it to stick around.  Sorry, but you have to put up with me for longer. :)

I figured I might copy and past some of the stuff I wrote about this in my other post.  I'm tied together with a smile.  Taylor wrote this about her friend with bulimia and she wrote it for me with my problems.  I don't think I'm the only one who doesn't think I'm pretty.  If they did, would they still call me fat?  Yeah, I walk around here thinking I'm not pretty.  I'm trying to hold on but sometimes I can't do it anymore.  I cry an I don't tell anyone.  I'm not the golden one, the girl who's got it all.

This song isn't one I know really well, but I love it.   I feel like very eye is watching me, waiting me to fall, expecting me to lose.  I believe in you even when I see you crying.  Thank God, or no one would believe in me.  There will come a day when love will get me out, bring the truth, free me from my fear.    I'll get out.  I know God's getting me out.  I know he will.

Sorry that was long.  I didn't mean for it to be THAT long. :)  Thanks for reading/listening and I promise I'll post again this week.  Sometime.... :)