Wednesday, January 1, 2014

living my life-2014

I hate New Year's resolutions.

Resolutions(noun): 1) the action of solving a problem, dispute, or continuous matter, 2) the deciding to do or not do something

We can't decide right now that we'll lose 50 pounds, or run everyday, or be nicer.  We will have bad days and we will mess up and not make our resolutions.

So I'm making strides.  I will stride this year.

This year, I will be striving to not self-hate.  If I begin to hate on myself or say negative things, I will replace them with positive, true sayings.  I will do a light, five minute workout in the mornings.  I will do 15 minutes or more of yoga a day; and every day, I will tell myself constantly that I am beautiful.  Especially if I don't feel it.

This lovely lady has put together Don't Break The Chain calendars for helping with our resolutions or Strivings.  With a very simplistic design, they allow you to write one thing you will attempt to do every day for the next year and how long you want to spend on it per day.  You then cross off the date you do it.  These calandars really motivate you to keep with what you plan on doing because they are always there, staring you down. (I have four on my wall right all four colors)

I'm trying to live my life this year.

The past two years have been a discovery/recovery/getting my crap together time.  I was able to stop cutting, get out of my depression (for the most part), and get a handle on my anxiety and anorexia.  So now, now I live.

My 2014 bucket list isn't going to be long; it's going to be filled with the fun I never had because I was too busy worrying about what other people thought and trying not to throw myself in front of a bus.

So here's my 2014 bucket list:
1) Stand up for myself.  I will no longer be a doormat.
2) Get the tattoo I've always wanted
3) Write.  Write all the time.  Write anything.  Write.
4) Read more.  Read as much as you used to when you were younger.  Read the whole library.  Read the world.
5) Take more pictures.  Pictures will one day be your only remembrance of this life.
6) Love more.  Love everyone.
7) Smile all the time.  Smile at everyone.  Smile when you don't want to.  Smile when you're happy.  Smile when you're sad.
8) Wear whatever you want, whenever you want.  Red lipstick to school?  Check.  Want to wear mismatching clothes?  Hells yeah!
9) Laugh more.  Watch funny videos.  Say funny things.  Surround yourself with funny people.
10) Expand your vocabulary.  Learn a new word everyday.  Use big words and sound too intelligent.
11) Live like everyday is your last.

I truely hope you all have decided to make 2014 YOUR year.  This is MY year and I will kick its butt.  This year, live.  Live your life.  Do crazy things, stay safe, and smile.

I love you.  Everyone of you.  Even if you don't.
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