Showing posts with label ramble. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ramble. Show all posts

Thursday, June 5, 2014

living the life you want



We all have our own ideas of what a perfect life looks like.  What is one thing that they will always have in common?

Positivity and happiness.

Only the true sociopaths in this world would admit to never wanting love or a happy life.  I want a happy life, you want a happy life, we all want happy lives.
I'll be the first to say it; I cannot fathom living my ideal life today.  But I know how to start living how I want to live today.

Think positively. Because of what we are exposed to in our lives, it is common to think negatively about the world.  By trying to think more positively, we can relieve stress and anxiety about the negative because we just don't see it.  There is a fine line between being naïve and thinking positively.
Spend one day, just 24 hours, looking for the positive side of things.  It is not hard in theory, but it is more work trying it.

Break free from routine.  Change it up; go somewhere new for your daily cup of coffee, go for a walk during your lunch break instead of playing on your phone, meet new people and do new things.  Variety is the spice of life and we need to apply that.

Have no regrets.  Personally, I've probably spent the majority of my life worrying about what I've done and whether or not it was right or wrong or if I should've said yes or no.  Instead, we need to let it go.  Our lives our full of choices and once we make one, we must move one.  Say no, say yes.  Sing loudly in public places.  Go to that concert or festival that you've wanted to go to since you were a kid.  Spend your money on concert tickets or a new yoga mat.  Love with no regrets.  Stop waiting for 'the right moment' and start living.  What was done in the past is in the past; the only thing we can change is the future.

Live your life.  Don't worry, don't regret, love everyone, think positively, say you're sorry, travel, break free from routines and judgmental people.  Don't include people in your life who don't truly want to be there.  If they fight you, think your choices are wrong, or even hate little things you do, say no to them.  Just let them go.
Live happily.  Eat good food.  See nice people.  Do kind things for others.  Say I love you.  Wish only the best on people.  Live.




Pictures:
http://data1.whicdn.com/images/119593002/large.jpghttp://data1.whicdn.com/images/119404174/large.jpg

Thursday, May 8, 2014

exams are upon us



I'm a high school student who decided taking the AP route was a smart idea.

I mean, it's great for getting college credit and all but I have since sacrificed my Friday nights and weekends to study, and study hard, for my exams.

This year, I decided I would take two AP classes.  I don't care what anyone says, AP Psychology is actually a hard class and AP Language and Composition may not be a lot of work but it sure as hell is a lot of vocabulary.  (They both are, really)

Monday I took the AP Psych exam and tomorrow I take the AP Lang exam.  For the past month I have been drowning myself in a delicious concoction of tea, flashcards up to my eyes, shots of espresso, study guides, practice tests, more tea and flashcards, and practice essays.

So yes, I am done.

The drawback to AP (one of the few...) is not only do we have AP exams, but we also have finals.  I technically have three finals in psych due to this lovely fact.

Also, I have walking pneumonia so I've only been at school a day an a half this week.  It's Thursday.
This is kind of a Public Servie Announcement.

Due to the fact that it is exams week, finals are coming up in two weeks, and I'm on my death bed, my hair has not been washed in three days, I'm wearing makeup from Tuesday, I haven't worn anything but sweatshirts and shorts, and I'm pretty sure my blood has turned into caffeine.

Because I am so fashion-conscious (see the joke I made there) I googled what to wear during finals week and I was thouroughly frustrated beyond belief.

All these high-end, rich, I'm-here-on-my-daddy's-money girls have decided that it's not okay for anyone to wear uggs, sweatpants, or sweatshirts during exams.

Excuse me, but there are barely enough hours in the day to study and sleep much less put on a pair of jeans (all that wiggling, twerking, and jumping around takes some serious time).

Let me just say this: IF YOU WANT TO WEAR SWEATPANTS, SWEATSHIRTS, OR UGGS/SLIPPERS/FUZZY SOCKS DURING EXAMS, DO IT.

Also, if you think that's awful, do what Teen Vouge suggests and wear something a little more chic.
But please, stop shunning us who wear running shorts, flip-flops, and sweatshirts because that's all we can manage to put on.

(Also, I hate doing laundry, especially during exams, so there is a limited selection for me to choose from)

So yes.

Wear whatever you want during testing, it doesn't matter!
I wish you all happy AP testing, exams, finals week, whatever you're taking!
And here's a cup of coffee from me to you!



Pictures:
http://weheartit.com/entry/114953088/search?context_type=search&context_user=cosi_7&page=3&query=studying
http://weheartit.com/entry/115104769/search?context_type=search&context_user=Hollywood67&query=coffee

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

living my life-2014

I hate New Year's resolutions.

Resolutions(noun): 1) the action of solving a problem, dispute, or continuous matter, 2) the deciding to do or not do something


We can't decide right now that we'll lose 50 pounds, or run everyday, or be nicer.  We will have bad days and we will mess up and not make our resolutions.

So I'm making strides.  I will stride this year.

This year, I will be striving to not self-hate.  If I begin to hate on myself or say negative things, I will replace them with positive, true sayings.  I will do a light, five minute workout in the mornings.  I will do 15 minutes or more of yoga a day; and every day, I will tell myself constantly that I am beautiful.  Especially if I don't feel it.

This lovely lady has put together Don't Break The Chain calendars for helping with our resolutions or Strivings.  With a very simplistic design, they allow you to write one thing you will attempt to do every day for the next year and how long you want to spend on it per day.  You then cross off the date you do it.  These calandars really motivate you to keep with what you plan on doing because they are always there, staring you down. (I have four on my wall right now...in all four colors)

I'm trying to live my life this year.

The past two years have been a discovery/recovery/getting my crap together time.  I was able to stop cutting, get out of my depression (for the most part), and get a handle on my anxiety and anorexia.  So now, now I live.

My 2014 bucket list isn't going to be long; it's going to be filled with the fun I never had because I was too busy worrying about what other people thought and trying not to throw myself in front of a bus.

So here's my 2014 bucket list:
1) Stand up for myself.  I will no longer be a doormat.
2) Get the tattoo I've always wanted
3) Write.  Write all the time.  Write anything.  Write.
4) Read more.  Read as much as you used to when you were younger.  Read the whole library.  Read the world.
5) Take more pictures.  Pictures will one day be your only remembrance of this life.
6) Love more.  Love everyone.
7) Smile all the time.  Smile at everyone.  Smile when you don't want to.  Smile when you're happy.  Smile when you're sad.
8) Wear whatever you want, whenever you want.  Red lipstick to school?  Check.  Want to wear mismatching clothes?  Hells yeah!
9) Laugh more.  Watch funny videos.  Say funny things.  Surround yourself with funny people.
10) Expand your vocabulary.  Learn a new word everyday.  Use big words and sound too intelligent.
11) Live like everyday is your last.

I truely hope you all have decided to make 2014 YOUR year.  This is MY year and I will kick its butt.  This year, live.  Live your life.  Do crazy things, stay safe, and smile.

I love you.  Everyone of you.  Even if you don't.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

netflixing



I become obsessed with tv shows.  Like to the point of I lock myself in my room for days on end watching every episode on netflix while crying in my pajamas and holding a bowl of popcorn.

You think I'm kidding?  Try again.

I was really glad that Netflix only has the first 24 episodes of New Girl (Season 1!!)  because I really would've been stuck in my room again.  This time, it was only a day.

Why do I become so obsessed with shows?  Who knows.  I don't even care, but at least I'm not in my room smoking pot or something (side note: I don't want to offend those of you who do sit in your room and smoke pot, but that's just not my thing.  Like I'm a total hippy girl at heart, which is a completely different person than a hippIE but more on that some other time, or never.)

So yeah, I'm totally digging New Girl.  I feel like it's because I totally get Jess.  Seriously though, I'm that ditzy girl who's really innocent and loves polka dots.  She can't say the P word (you know what I'm talkin' about.  Oh, you don't?), I can't say the P word....so yes.  I'm trying to pull myself out of the world of high waisted shorts and Shmidt.

I'm the kind of girl who loves getting lost in a fantasy world (so did that on purpose).  This probably explains why I've always wanted to go into acting, but most likely won't.  There's just some pull about a world with romance, different people, and crazy situations.  You get a whole new experience without actually having to be in that moment.  Like I now know what it's like to share a bathroom with three guys.  And I never had to even live with one of them!

I'm pretty sure my mom thinks I'm super antisocial thanks to the gift she gave me of supplying me with a netflix playing television.  It's seriously the best thing ever.  So yes, I'm currently stuck in the wonderful world of New Girl, but it'll be over as soon as I find the next show I'm dying over.

Oh and Netflixing is a word.  And if it wasn't before, it is now.  It describes what I do: Sit in my room alone, crying and eating popcorn, while watching entire seasons of tv shows without a break.  Netflixing.  It's the new planking.

And while I choose to sit here and tell you all about how antisocial I am, I'm really supposed to be putting on makeup so I can actually go see other people.  My priorities need some serious re-evaluating.

Happy netflixing!

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdr9moSmnH1rjdp66o1_500.gif

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

breaking your own heart





We don't have to care about everything people say.

I know it seems like we do, we have to take it all in, believe it, understand everything about it.

Something I've learned is that not everything people say I have to listen to.

I used to sit there for hours, listening to everyone's problems and trying to fix them.  I wen to bed, crying for them and not for my own pain I had bottled up.  I started to figure out when people would want to complain to me.  Sometimes it was a 'how's life?' or 'how are you doing?'.  I used to be so prepared to give them advice, but now I know I can avoid it.

Why do I avoid people's problems?

It's not because I'm selfish and I want to complain about my own.  I just don't need to take everyone's problems as my own.

I guess, you're just breaking your own heart by taking everything personally.  Sometimes, it's hard to remember that people aren't always trying to hurt us because of something we did.  It might just be that they are going through something and they need to take it out on someone.

You don't have to be someone else's punching bag.  There is a fine line between listening and being a target.  If they want you to fix their problems, the line was probably crossed.

I'm not sure how this fits in or anything, but it bugs me when people are constantly saying the same thing over and over.  We can only hear so many times about the same problem before we want to fix it, which can actually lead to more problems.

I guess my point is that you don't need to take everyone's problems as your own.  You don't have to try and fix them.  Sometimes, when people say something mean to you, it's a reflection of them not you.  There is a fine line between listening and being the punching bag for someone.  If they need to release anger, they should literally go take it out on a punching bag or hammer nails into wood, or something.

There's my random ramble/blog post haha :P

Have a fantastic week!!!

Picture:
http://weheartit.com/entry/25567690

Friday, April 13, 2012

i did it!!!

Look!!!  I filmed the video I said I would film!! :)  I am soooo super excited.

I find it kinda ironic that I talk about pressure to straighten my hair in the video yet my hair is straight.... coincidence....I swear

So yeah...haha here's the video :)

PS.  There's going to be a bloopers video at the end so don't forget to watch it :)









Thank you SOOOOO much for watching :) please listen to the show, I'd love it if y'all called in :)

Monday, March 19, 2012

exciting new stuff!


















I apologize for not having written more, I've had a -very- hectic month.

Anyways...something really cool happened tonight and I'm waiting until tomorrow to let y'all know :)

I know, I'm evil.


But, it's because I think I'm going to do a video instead of writing.  The reason is because it's really super personal to me and I'm really excited.  :)

Here's a quicky overview of what I'll talk about:

I bought Seventeen at the grocery store last week and I really like them because they don't fill it with super skinny photoshopped models.  They have real girls with real bodies and real lives.  It's cool :)  My sister was sitting in my room doing homework with me and she look at it and she goes, 'Wow, she's so real.'  (Referring to Jennifer Lawrence)  It was so neat to hear her say that.

So yeah, be expecting a video, if I'm not too tired to film it because I have TCAPs this week. :(

Have a fantastical evening and day tomorrow! :)

Pic:
http://weheartit.com/entry/25148053

Monday, March 5, 2012

be free


























I have a problem where I'm constantly sticking to rules, not changing, and trying to blend in.

Today I realized something: I don't need to blend in.  I'm free to be me.  God made me special and if people don't like what He made, they'll live with being quiet.

I feel like I should be writing this post in the summer or something.  I always associated being free with Pocahontas and summer.

But I am so sick of conforming to who society and the world wants me to be.  I am free to be whoever I'm supposed to be.

God knows who I'm supposed to be.  As long as I'm what He wants me to be, there's nothing wrong with me.  The world will be okay without one more rail thin, straight haired, gorgeous model in this world.

Though it's hard for me to be different, I've always wanted to be different.

I've changed who I am so people will accept me.  I used to straighten my hair all the time because people thought curly hair wasn't pretty.  Whoever they are, really don't know who Taylor Swift is. :)

But honestly, we're all different.  Sure we can try and be carbon copies of everyone else, but we're all different.  No matter how hard we try to be the same, we never can be.  We were meant to be unique and special.

So go be free and have an amazing week :)


pics
http://weheartit.com/entry/18050742
http://weheartit.com/entry/20686641
http://weheartit.com/entry/11272377

Friday, February 24, 2012

inspiring

I love pictures.

Especially pictures that inspire me.

I did a post on this back in November (so long ago, I know :) and I decided to update it with new info and ideas.

Part of my decision to revamp the old post was my mom who really wanted me to help her add pictures to her blog post.  (it's about her arthritis and I'm sitting there thinking 'I don't know how to convey this, I don't know what to do, what am I supposed to do?!?!')

Anyways, I've found more sites that I love and ways to incorporate pictures into your own blog posts (if you blog, if not you can still read the post and realize that I'm going to be loading up on pictures :)

I highly suggest reading the 6th question.  It's really awesome and I put so much hard work and effort into writing that!!!  Okay, that's a lie but I'd love it if you read it because I found it entertaining.  And someone somewhere once said 'If you the author cries, your readers will cry.  If you laugh, they laugh.' Or something like that.  I can't even remember who said it and Google isn't finding it.  If I ever figure it out, y'all will be the first to know. :)

I'll be re-answering questions that I had answered in the old post and some new questions.

Q. Where do you get your pictures from?

A. Lots of different websites.  If I do a Google search (I rarely do this, honestly.), they come from various websites that Google loads.  Same goes for Pinterest.  I could write a whole book on that website.  It's really inspiring and I really like it.  I find that I'm constantly pinning whenever I'm poking around websites looking for images.  Other websites I really like are deviantartdelicious, and tumblr.  If you ever take a look at the links I post at the end of my posts, you'll see that I tend to frequent we<3it.  This has hundreds of thousands od way inspiring images.  I could easily browse this site all day long.  Though it's kinda difficult to weed through all of the irrelevant images, it's really inspiring.


Q. What are your favorite type of pictures?

A. I love vintage.  I always have and probably always will.  If you ever take a look at my manipulations, you'll notice that a lot of them are dark and kind of scary looking. :)  But I love vintage, washed out, pale shaded pictures.  I don't know why; it's like I'm one extreme or another.  So yes, I'm a huge vintage fan. :)





















Q. Why do you include so many pictures in your posts?

A. Because I love pictures, duh! :)  I really do though, and I always am inspired by them so I love to add loads of pictures to my posts.  Lately, I've been so busy that I post quickly and don't add a ton of images but I used to add so many.  I'm trying to get back into adding lots of pictures, so this is kind of my turn around post. :)  A lot of times, I'll be on websites and find a picture I love then I'm inspired to write about the feeling or what it reminds me of.  Then I'll find images that also convey that feeling or memory and then pack up my post with pictures.





















Q. How do you pick pictures for your posts?

A. Well, like I said before, I'm inspired by and image and then I'll write about what it reminds me of.  If I do come up with a blog idea all on my own (-gasp-) then I'll have to go searching for images.  I do this by thinking of the emotion it makes me feel and sometimes what the picture displays.  Take for example my Confessions of a Funny Girl Part 1 about how I'm a Gleek.  I needed a picture for the post.  I immediatly ran to we<3it and tried to search for an image.  If I remember correctly, it only came up with four pictures.  One of which was this awesome, vintage colored, picture of a stop sign reading 'Don't Stop Believing',  Perfect!

Sometimes I'm not that lucky and I have to make do.  But sometimes I find a picture that's totally irrelevant but yet, when I searched for a keyword and it popped up, it actually made sense to me and I put it in there.  Example, Cinderella, a post I wrote about the Steven Curtis Chapman song.  The picture is entirely irrelevant, but when I searched for 'Cinderella' on we<3it, that picture came up.  It was totally not applicable, but for some reason, I liked it and stuck it in there.


































Q. I've looked everywhere for a picture and I can't find anything that works for my topic.  What am I supposed to do??

A. Calm down there! :)  Seriously, if finding pictures isn't fun, then take a deep breath.  Images are supposed to be inspiring and moving, not stressful.  And who likes stressful picture finding and blogging?  That just sounds like school to me.  If you can't find pictures for your blog, you might be looking for something too specific.  Take for example, my post Immature.  I searched Google for 'sticking tongue out'.  Yeah, that came up with maybe two bad, obviously shot with a cell phone pictures that I was like 'yeah that's stupid'.  So I went on we<3it and searched for 'sticking out tongue'.  It came up with two pictures.  I got real lucky.

If you're looking for a picture on let's say, 'fluffy white dogs' (I'm random, okay?) and you want it to look vintage-y and washed out.  If you search for 'fluffy white dog vintage washed out', you're going to come up with a whooping big ol' fat 0 on Google.  Don't believe me?  Google it. :)  Go over to we<3it and you come up with another huge fat 0.

Don't despair! Search for 'white dog vintage' on Google.  You literally find one good picture.  I was going to find the link to it and guess what?  Someone wrote a blog post with tons of pictures of their white, somewhat fluffy, dog.  Search for 'white dog washed out' on Google and there really aren't any good pictures.  But you have one!

Want more?  The Meghan answer to that would be: 'Yes!!!!!'  Hope on over to we<3it and search for 'white dog vintage' and 'white dog washed out'.  You find one picture.  It's actually cute. :)

If you're like me and you want more pictures, broaden the search to fluffy dogs or even just fluffy white.  That will result in more and try dropping the vintage and washed out keywords and just chose the pictures that have the color schemes and themes you want.


















Q. How am I supposed to put pictures in my post without being accused of stealing and get chased down by the FBI?  They'll put me in federal prison and I won't ever be a famous blogger like my dream.  I don't even know if they let you have internet in prison.  What will I do with out my blog?!  How will I live?  And I'll be stuck in a cell with some scary person who did way more than just use a picture on their blog without permission and I won't get to blog about it!!

A. Sorry about that...I was getting bored. :)  But honestly, I am no expert in this.  Seriously, I'm not.  Anything I write in this answer should be double checked with an attorney or lawyer or something.  But I always just link to the pictures down below (they've always been there, go look.) at the bottom of my posts.  I've never had anyone tell me to take them down.  Now I will admit that I haven't actually sent the photographers/artists emails personally asking them if I can use them.  I don't really know of any bloggers who do.  But as far as I know, if you link to the original authors, you're cool.  But that's just what I think, and we all know that when I was little I thought smarties actually made you smarter. :)
















Q. Is there such a thing as too many pictures?  How many pictures are too many?

A. Okay, so we all know my answer to that.  I'm serious, I have no limit.  I could literally post thousands of pictures in my posts if I could.  But I think people would hate me if I did that and give up 1/4 way through my post.  I figured that you might want an actually not picture obsessed person's answer so I googled it.  :)

There really isn't a set number of pictures that's too many.  But keep a few things in mind.  More pictures means a longer loading time.  I know some people who read my blog are on computers that will take f-o-r-e-v-e-r to load.  And adding billions of pictures makes it even slower.  So it's best to keep the images fewer.  Or if you're like me and you absolutely love pictures, try using smaller sizes.

Pictures are great visualizers.  In a lot of my posts, I make lists.  One of those is If you don't smile who will? where I list different ways to make people smile, complete with pictures.  With posts like this, I like to keep a general number in mind.  I tend to stick with about 2-4 pictures per item on the list.  Sometimes I blow this, big time.  But that's only on rare occasions.  Other times, I just can't help myself and I go crazy.  Don't believe me?  Go look at Optimism.  I'm pretty sure I had over 20 pictures in that post.  But at the same time, it made people, including myself, smile.  Sometimes, you can break rules.  Or like they say in Pirates of the Caribbean 'They're more like guidelines anyways'.



















Q. Should I use pictures from websites or my own?

A. I use both.  Most of the time, though, I use pictures from websites.  This is simply because I have no time to take pictures.  I think using your own pictures adds a personal touch to the post and it helps your readers to connect better with you.  I've done a few posts where I had entirely my pictures.  Both You Make Me Smile and Changes have entirely my pictures.


















Q. What are picture layouts?  Where do I get them from?  How do I use them?

A. It's a three part question! :O

Answer to part one: Picture layouts are creative ways for you to display your pictures in set layouts that you can edit in Photoshop.  I get mine from puglypixel.  She gives some instructions on how to use them here and here.  Once you figure them out, they're a piece of cake to use.  I'm working on making my own and when I get them finished I might just throw them up here for y'all to use.

Puglypixel also has some other freebies up there to help spice up the layouts which include bow tie textures, ric rac, arrow label shapesarrow and ribbon shapes, and lots more.  I'm kind of obsessed with them and I find them really fun.


























Those are all the questions I can think up to ask myself. :)  It's fun and entertaining trying to ask yourself questions.  I actually might be doing it more often.  But if you have any questions about pictures for blog posts or pictures in general, I'd love to answer them.

Thanks for reading that whole thing and I'll be posting again tomorrow (hopefully, don't kill me if I don't).




Pics:
http://theowlutopia.com/2010/11/21/vintage-lover-dog/
http://weheartit.com/entry/20807178

Monday, February 20, 2012

turn around



Do you ever feel like there's nothing left for you?  Like no matter what you do, no one cares anymore?  Are you ever the person who thinks you just aren't worth it?  You don't know who to turn to because you don't know who cares anymore?

I'll be honest, I've been through some really hard stuff in my life.  But every single time I think I'm done, I'm not.  Wanna know why?  Because every single time I think I'm done I find God again.  Sometimes I read a really compelling Bible verse, or he sends someone really amazing into my life.  But in the most recent case, he sent me a song.

I know that seem really stupid, but I listen to so much music it was bound to happen at some point.

I take out my neighbor's dog every Monday-Friday during my lunch break.  His name's Cooper and he's really cute :)  And they always leave the radio on for him so he doesn't get all lonely.  Sometimes they have it set to K-Love (there's the important part:)

All of this happened in October of 2011.  One of the hardest months for me last year.  But hey, I was rescued. :)

Well, I went over there to take out Cooper on Monday and K-Love was playing the song Turn Around by Matt Maher.  I cried my eyes out.  I normally don't really cry through songs, but recently I've been crying when I listen to music.  

Anyways...I went home and didn't think about it until the next day when it was on the radio again.  I didn't think much about that because K-Love tends to repeat new songs over and over again.  But once again, I cried.

The next day, I went over and the song was on again.  Three days in a row, same time, same place.  I was crying and then I started thinking about two things.

One, it's weird that they had it set to K-Love three days in a row because normally they change the stations every couple days.
Two, why is that song on again??

I went home and looked up the lyrics, cried some more, than it all kinda got pushed to the back of my mind.

The next day (Thursday) I went over and it was on for the fourth time.  I was starting to get a little creeped out.  It was so weird.  I didn't think it was a message from God or anything.  I was just thinking K-Love was stalking me. :)

Friday I went over and I heard the song for the fifth time.  I remember sitting on the floor with my head in my hands and crying.  It was so moving, I didn't know what to do.  It was like, God was trying to send me this message and the whole time I wasn't picking up on it.  

I've never really been moved by songs.  They've been applicable to situations in my life and they've made me cry but I can only think of five songs that have really, honestly moved me.

1. Turn Around
2. More Beautiful You
3. I Won't Let Go
4. Have Your Way
5. And then some song that we sang at church that I can't remember the name of.... :)

It took me less than a minute to get the message after I had heard it for the fifth time.  

I needed to turn around and run back to God.  I hadn't really been walking with Him because I was afraid He didn't care about me because I had hurt myself so much that I didn't think even He would want me.

I was stuck in a really difficult place and I didn't know how to get out.  I was so sick of my life and I didn't want to keep on living something that was so difficult.  But then I got this little glimmer of hope from that song.  It was amazing.  

You might be wondering why I chose to write about this when this whole thing happened months ago.

I heard the song again today during breakfast. 

I own it and I listen to it a lot but there's something about hearing it on the radio that makes it really, really cool for me.

If you're scared that you don't matter
If you're lost and need to be found
If you're looking for a savior
All you gotta do is turn around
No one listens to you anymore
And your heart has broken down
You don't need to move
Love is come to you
All you gotta do is turn around




So, there's my 'rescue' story, as I like to call it.  Because it really is...

I really hope y'all have a great day and listen to K-Love all week because you never know what might happen.... :)

Pic from:

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

will you be my valentine?






I've never liked Valentine's day.

Hear me out, pretty please?

It's a just an excuse for guys to say they love you and to hide their feelings behind pink and red cards.

I find it pointless.  And depressing.

I've never gotten a Valentine from anyone unrelated to me.  It's kinda dissapointing.

Don't blame it on my home school life.  :)

Anyways....this is going to be a short blog today.  I'm trying to type quickly so I can go drink my fancy hot chocolate while watching The Notebook.

So while y'all who are lucky to have someone real special to celebrate this random, pointless holiday with, I will be watching The Notebook and drinking my hot chocolate with Christmas sprinkles on it.

Also, my mommy got me flowers :)

One thing I keep reminding myself is that I'm only a teenager and I really don't need a boyfriend, I simply need to know that God loves me and he will constantly love me.  Not just on Valentine's day.

I might expand on this topic tomorrow.  You never know....

I hope y'all had a fantastic day, and remember God made you special and he loves you very much.  Goodbye! =D

http://weheartit.com/entry/23112453

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

patio furniture



























I never understood this.

Ever.

Ever in my entire life.

My short life.

Ever.

Never.  Ever.  Ever.

Never.

Why would you put patio furniture on your front patio?  I mean, your wasting your moolah on something you don't use.

It's like buying shoes and not wearing them.  Shush, we're going to pretend like I don't do that....

But seriously, I was thinking about that today and it really made me upset.  People never ever sit on their front porches.  I've seen one of my neighbors do it regularly.  That's it.  ONE.  I live in a pretty large neighborhood folks.

So what I want to know, is why in the world would you splurge on a fancy patio set and set it on your front porch just to let it sit there?  I don't get it....

Though, I think it would be odd to walk up to a house and have no furniture there....

Now I sound crazy.  I don't get why we have furniture on our front patios, yet I can't imagine what it would be like without it.

So yes...I am crazy and I don't understand patio furniture.  Go figure.

I also don't understand that phrase.....

(Picture is mine)

Sunday, January 29, 2012

immature




















I was more or less forced into writing this.

By less, I did it slightly voluntarily.

By more, I was told I could write a post.

Anyways...there's this guy I know who is always sarcastic with me, kinda funny actually.  But when I was leaving, he started to stick his tongue out at me and I told him it was immature.

So my ride wasn't actually there so I went back in and was talking to him and one of our youth leaders.  I asked our leader if it was immature if a guy is sticking his tongue out at you if it's immature.

Right now, yep, right this very minute, you need to think about what he says.

Seriously contemplate it.

Seriously.  

Serious.

There's two answers to this question.

1.  He says 'Yeah, that's immature.  Guys in fourth grade do that.'

2. He sticks his tongue out at me.

Now consider which one happens.

Got your idea?

It's not the first one, nope.

He stuck his tongue out at me.  Yep, then he proceeded to tell me that I can write a blog post about it and tell the whole world about how immature the guy was for stickin' his tongue out at me.  And then he said I can throw him under the bus too.

So there you have it folks.  I just -attempted- to throw them both under the bus....oh well...I wasn't sure what to confess next so I'm taking any ideas I'm given.  

Just thought I'd let y'all know...sticking tongues out at girls is really immature.  Just sayin'... =D

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

short pants and ice cream
















My pajama pants are too short.

It makes me sad.

I just got them for Christmas and they come almost halfway up my calf.  But they are sooo comfortable.  And you know what the best part is???  They're reversable!!!!! =D  Once I grow again (see ya all next week! :) I think I might cut them into shorts.  'Cause they're that awesome! =D

I actually ate ice cream today -gasp- and all I could think about was Graeter's.

Best.  Ice.  Cream.  EVER.

It's located in.....wait for iiiiiiit (PSYCH!!).....Ohio!!! :)  I know right?  Waaay out there.  Sooo hard to get to there.  Haha, but I love it!!  They'll ship it to you!  I'm serious. :)  My favorite flavor eva' is Black Raspberry Chip.  And I hate raspberries.  :)  But it's soooo good!!  I would seriously pay hundreds of moneys right now just to get it.  My vanilla ice cream was boring....I kept trying to pretend that I was eating Black Raspberry Chip....yeah, that doesn't work too well....

Look....and drool.....
















now close your mouth....grab a towel....and wipe of that now disgusting keyboard =D

All of their ice cream that has chocolate 'chips' in them, is not true.  Because they don't put just any ol' chocolate chips in there....they put chocolate chunks!!!  It's amazing!! =D

I'm not even hungry right now...believe it or not.

Okay....I now don't have much to say....so I think I shall leave you and go exercise.  Yesh, looking at ice cream makes me feel fat so I shall now go do some situps.  :)






















Pics:
http://weheartit.com/entry/3676726
http://www.rodzillareviews.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/Graeters-and-Head-Shots-007-595x446.jpg
http://weheartit.com/entry/20489940

Friday, December 23, 2011

fearless

































I feel terrible.

I haven't posted in days.

Weeks....

But I have nothing to say (Okay, that's a lie (I'm working on telling the truth about how I feel (not sure if that applies here...)) because I do have things to say, just not things I WANT to say) and no time to say them.  So here's what I must say.  (or want to say, either way)

‎"Being fearless isn't being 100% not fearful, it's being terrified but you jump anyway...." 

"To me, Fearless is not the absence of fear. It's not being completely unafraid. To me, Fearless is having fears. Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, Fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death." 

"It's FEARLESS to have faith that someday things will change." 

I don't think I'll have to tell you who said that....if I do, you must not know me very well. :)

But I have trouble being fearless.  I freak out about everything.
EVERYTHING.
E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.

Mostly stupid things.  Like if I look okay, or if this stupid curl is sticking straight up (it ALWAYS does), if my eyeliner is too thick, if I sound like I have a cold because of my stupid allergies, will I be late?, what did I get on my freakin' test? (okay, maybe that one isn't stupid..), is this -certain- person going to be mean to me again?, does this shirt make me look fat?, my earring is gone!, does my hair smell?  Better go wash it, again!, I have to brush my teeth for the fourth time!, etc. etc. etc.

Yes, I do freak out about random, stupid things.  And yes, I do brush my teeth and wash my hair obsessively.  (more on that tomorrow)

I know I have to quit freaking out about things and just go with it.  I am afraid of everything.  For a common fear (not brushing your teeth multiple times, is not a common fear, believe it or not.) I have is heights.  I am deathly afraid of heights.  When I was a kid, I used to prove to all the wimpy boys that I could climb on top of the monkey bars.  But then they proved to me that I couldn't get down.  That was only because I was afraid of the height.  That's it.  I swear. :)

Being fearless is having fears.  I have fears.  PLENTY of fears.  An over abundance of fears.  Waaaay too many fears.  But according to the quote, that's a okay (that's how you would type that out, right?).

I'm trying not to be afraid of what people say about me, what I look like, who I am, or what might or might not happen.  You know you over thing when you come up with possibilities that are a one in a million chance and then you convince yourself that this time will be the one in a million.

So there's what I'm trying to do.  Be fearless.  'Cause I don't know how it gets better than this, you take my hand and drag me head first.  Fearless.  And I don't know why but with you I'll dance in a storm in my best dress.  Fearless.

(PS: Someday, I'm going to dance in a storm in my best dress...right after I sing in the rain. =D)

Pics:
http://weheartit.com/entry/19845616
http://weheartit.com/entry/19863667

Thursday, December 8, 2011

you are more

There's a girl in the corner 
With tear stains on her eyes 
From the places she's wandered 
And the shame she can't hide 

She says, "How did I get here? 
I'm not who I once was. 
And I'm crippled by the fear 
That I've fallen too far to love" 

But don't you know who you are, 
What's been done for you? 
Yeah don't you know who you are? 

You are more than the choices that you've made, 
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, 
You are more than the problems you create, 
You've been remade. 

Well she tries to believe it 
That she's been given new life 
But she can't shake the feeling 
That it's not true tonight 

She knows all the answers 
And she's rehearsed all the lines 
And so she'll try to do better 
But then she's too weak to try 

But don't you know who you are? 

You are more than the choices that you've made, 
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, 
You are more than the problems you create, 
You've been remade. 

You are more than the choices that you've made, 
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, 
You are more than the problems you create, 
You've been remade. 

'Cause this is not about what you've done, 
But what's been done for you. 
This is not about where you've been, 
But where your brokenness brings you to 

This is not about what you feel, 
But what He felt to forgive you, 
And what He felt to make you loved. 

You are more than the choices that you've made, 
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, 
You are more than the problems you create, 
You've been remade. 

You are more than the choices that you've made, 
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes, 
You are more than the problems you create, 
You've been remade. 

You've been remade 
You've been remade. 
You've been remade. 
You've been remade.



Yeah, that's my song.  Or one of my songs.  I've done all of this.  Watch the video, people carry so much more than they're going to tell you.  You think guys are the only one's who keep in their emotions.  There's things no one knows about me.  I've done things I wish I never did, said things that never should've been said, thought things that hurt me, but it doesn't define me.

I was that girl in the corner.  I don't know how I got here, why I'm here.  None of this makes any sense to me.  I used to be this carefree girl who never wore the color pink and sang Someday my prince will come in my backyard.  I didn't think people could be mean, and I never thought my dad could be so heartless.  Now I'm this girl who was hospitalized for suicide.  I've let myself self destruct from the inside out.  I know what people can do, I've been there.  My dad isn't Superman like I thought he was.  I watched superman fly away, and he's not coming back.

I would stand in front of my mirror and after I ripped myself up over my flaws, I would practice what I would tell people when they asked me what I ate or how I was.  I've told more people that I was doing good or I was okay than I actually have been.  I've cried myself to sleep because I didn't think my life was going anywhere but down.

I am more than the choices that I've made.  I'm more than the sum of my past mistakes.  And I am more than the problems I create.  Or that I fall into.

It's hard to believe I'm more, but it's true.  I guess it's one of those things where I know that it's true, but I don't believe it.  I wish I did.  I wish I believed people when they told me I was pretty.  I wish I believed my dad could change.  I wish I believed my life is going to get better.  I really wish I could.

Sure, I'm screwed up.  Honestly, that's the easiest way to put it.  I've got more scars than I ever thought I could have.  I carry around things I never would've imagined.  I've done things that I never thought I would do.  It changed me and I would go back and make it stop if I could.  But I can't.  I can't fade the scars or ignore the past.  Yes, I could move on.  But sometimes it's just too hard to move on.  If you move on completely, then you'll forget your past which is a part of you.  If I like it or not...

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

oops

I realized I said I was posting every day for two weeks.  Well that didn't happen...sorry bout that.

I am still having problems coming up with blogging ideas.  So I read articles about what to write about when you can't think of anything to write about!  Haha, I'm sad.  Be quiet now.

Q. What did I write about a year ago?

A. Nothing!  That's right!  The nearest date to now was December 1, 2010.  So we'll use that. XD

Here's my original post:

I know I haven't been posting a lot.  I don't come by too much free time.  Here's the quick story of everything.
1. I'm almost done with the first semester of school (behind I know!) and I plan on working over Christmas break, so I can get done with the second.
2. I have strep throat and I'm currently blaming Danielle.
3. I plan on having a photoshoot with bethany and Heather some time soon.  I had to cancel the last one thanks to strep thanks to Danielle.
4.  I did a shoot with Sophia a while back and if you go to my photo blog you can watch the movie.
5.  I made a movie with Sophia in it, (4.)
6. My dad's a dummy and he's a jerk.  I'm having to spend Christmas with him.  GOD TAKE ME NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7. I might be able to get out of 6.
8. Elizbeth's being a meany.  Please pray that she's nice.
9.  Elizabeth's trying to break Bethany
10.  White Collar doesn't come back on until january. :[
11. We were givin hacking rights by a lady from an auto transportation company
12.  My mother bought a minivan.  :(
13.  Right when I can drive my mother's truck and not die, she sells it
14.  It's not sold yet, so I can still crash.
15.  I'm going to have to learn to drive in a minivan
16.  Not even Bethany is learning with the big van
17.  I'm getting sick and tired of being sick and tired
18. I'm not contageuos.  -ACHOOO-  You're not sick!!!
19.  Anyone getting bored?
20.  I've read 14k pages in two days.
21.  I had to right 21 so I could have a list that wasn't 20 things, it was 21.  :D  You know you love me!
22.  MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!  I lied,  there's 22 things!!!! My toes cramp up if I stand on them.


Yeah.  Pretty interesting.

Not.

I didn't actually have to go see him that year. :)  White Collar isn't coming back until January.  That makes me sad.  My mother still has her mini van and I did learn how to drive it, thank you very much. (gah!  I hate that thing!)  I don't feel like reading 14k pages of a book(s?) right now.  Haha, thanks anways.  Elizabeth still is a meany but she gave up trying to break Bethany.  I haven't done a real shoot since then.  I tried, but I had to use my sad point and shoot 'cause our camera got a booboo (multiple, actually) and was getting fixed.  I never did get around to the one with Bethany...

Wow...I used to think my life was so darn interesting. :)  Now it's just thrilling.

Really?

Yes, really.

You're an odd person, you know that?

Oh, shut up!  I'm not odd.  That's mean.  You're turning into Elizabeth.

Now that right there is mean!

Well, it's the truth.

Says who?

Says  me!  That's who!

Ugh, you're hopeless.

I take that as a comliment.

Sure you do...


Whoa...O_o  I just had an argument with myself.  I've been told I do that a lot....

Okay, moving on now.

I'm actually trying to come up with some good topics other than that up there ^

I think I shall leave you now, with that scary image of me arguing with myself imprinted in your brain.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

lets run into wall, shall we?

I'm really sorry for not posting often. I feel terrible for not posting in like two weeks.  Now it's like I let you down.  That's a sad feeling...

Here's my excuse for not writing:

Over the holidays I wasn't all entirely home and when I was I was sleeping.  I think the past three days I was always at my friends/neighbors house.  Wensday I went to Operation Christmas Child.  That was fun. :)  Thursday, felt odd not going to orchestra.  But we went to the Thanksgiving service at church (I kept trying to type Christmas.  I'm really excited for Christmas.  Mainly because I found the awesomest present for someone! =D) and came back home to get the pies.  Darn you gluten allergy!! :(  Then we went over to our friends house (the one I was at all break) and watched the Packer game.  Go Packers!!!!!!!! =]  (We won.  As usual.  Oops!!  Ignore that.  I don't want to jinx it!!!)  I didn't come home from there (well, except to get everything my mom forgot (for some reason, she insisted on sending me over to get one thing at a time with a few minutes break in between.  who forgets all of that??  (btw, what the heck is a saucepan?? (I think I have too many sub (()) (I can't remember what they were called!! (ooh I just asked my mom and told her they looked like smile lines (parenthesis, if you were wondering)))))) until like 11.  Friday, we went to the lights thing in downtown Littleton (Yus, I can't remember).  That was sooo much fun!!! :)

I just wrote a giant wall of text.  I read once ( i can't find where! (oh shoot, here I go again! (these things are fun...(:)))) that you're not supposed to do that.  Oh well.  I write a lot.  I think if I blog large walls of text (I know I'm not supposed to do that.  Sshh!) then I won't talk so much.  Now won't that be fun! :)

So, I'm kinda in a rut.  I'm sorta stuck on what to write.  (down two paragraphs (or one (it's the last 'real' paragraph before the list starts (I'm at it again!))))

I've gotten different suggestions over the past couple days as to what I should write.  First, coffee.  That would literally be a love hate post.  No explanation needed.  Second, ANOTHER list.  But not really specific list ideas.  And I think ya'll might be (should be...) sick of all my lists by now.  Hey, that rhymed!

Anyways...I'm not going to continue on that.  But I'm sort of stuck on what to write.  So I'm making a list.  I know, it's my favorite thing to do.  Haha, it's also what I do when I'm not sure what to write on.

1.  Sweaters
It's winter and I love wearing sweaters.  Once Christmas is over, I'm going and buying sweaters.  I want like all of the sweaters in the second pic. Haha. :)
















2. Christmas Trees
I love Christmas trees.  I'm just allergic to them.  Minor details. :)
















3.  Kisses
No, not THAT kind.  I mean like the chocolate ones.  I like the tinfoil.  Especially when it's all wrapped up in the green foil.  =D  I like green...

















4. Blankets
I love big cozy blankets with big cozy sweaters (see 1).  They make me feel all warm and fuzzy, and I really am warm. <3 (I did have some slight (very minute, I swear) trouble finding pictures of big cozy blankets  Why????????)















5. Pizza
I love pizza!!!!! :)  It's so stinkin' good.  I really love how nice it is.  But I don't really love gluten-free pizza crust.  Like, it tastes somewhat similar.  But not really.  Probably has SOMETHING to do with the fact that it's really not as greasy as normal pizza.  =D

















6.  Lamps
If you hadn't noticed, I'm randomly coming up with random stuff.  Haha :)

















7. Knitting
My grandma taught me how to knit when I was seven.  I found it annoying and boring.  But now it's fun and it keeps my hands warm! =D  I am currently (very slowlyyyyyy....) knitting a scarf.  It's warm. :)
















I'm ending there.  I know it's an odd number.  :)  I wanted to go to ten but then I ran out of ideas.

Oh, this will sound very odd.  Just a warning.  But keep my computer in your prayers.  It basically has my life on it and if it dies, I'm doomed.  Here's the whole story.  The battery in it was old and dying so I had to get a new one.  Well, I'm now on my second new battery (make sense of that! :) and whenever you unplug my computer (it's a laptop, duh!) it dies immediately.  That's not supposed to happen!  I'm sad and I'm going to have to take it to the Apple store.  Let's hope it doesn't cost a ton of money!!! :(

Okay, anyways, moving on....

I'm making myself post every single day for the next two weeks to makeup for the missed two weeks of sad, depressing, lost, postless, two weeks.  :)

Enough of that drama.  Thanks for reading!  =D


Pics:
http://weheartit.com/entry/18210029
http://weheartit.com/entry/17944582
http://weheartit.com/entry/17934243
http://weheartit.com/entry/18159687
http://weheartit.com/entry/17760637
http://weheartit.com/entry/14691988
http://weheartit.com/entry/10396587
http://weheartit.com/entry/14096943
http://weheartit.com/entry/5702727
http://weheartit.com/entry/14396864
http://weheartit.com/entry/17822586
http://weheartit.com/entry/18464728
http://weheartit.com/entry/18476163
http://weheartit.com/entry/18521907
http://weheartit.com/entry/3302365
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