Monday, February 20, 2012

turn around

Do you ever feel like there's nothing left for you?  Like no matter what you do, no one cares anymore?  Are you ever the person who thinks you just aren't worth it?  You don't know who to turn to because you don't know who cares anymore?

I'll be honest, I've been through some really hard stuff in my life.  But every single time I think I'm done, I'm not.  Wanna know why?  Because every single time I think I'm done I find God again.  Sometimes I read a really compelling Bible verse, or he sends someone really amazing into my life.  But in the most recent case, he sent me a song.

I know that seem really stupid, but I listen to so much music it was bound to happen at some point.

I take out my neighbor's dog every Monday-Friday during my lunch break.  His name's Cooper and he's really cute :)  And they always leave the radio on for him so he doesn't get all lonely.  Sometimes they have it set to K-Love (there's the important part:)

All of this happened in October of 2011.  One of the hardest months for me last year.  But hey, I was rescued. :)

Well, I went over there to take out Cooper on Monday and K-Love was playing the song Turn Around by Matt Maher.  I cried my eyes out.  I normally don't really cry through songs, but recently I've been crying when I listen to music.  

Anyways...I went home and didn't think about it until the next day when it was on the radio again.  I didn't think much about that because K-Love tends to repeat new songs over and over again.  But once again, I cried.

The next day, I went over and the song was on again.  Three days in a row, same time, same place.  I was crying and then I started thinking about two things.

One, it's weird that they had it set to K-Love three days in a row because normally they change the stations every couple days.
Two, why is that song on again??

I went home and looked up the lyrics, cried some more, than it all kinda got pushed to the back of my mind.

The next day (Thursday) I went over and it was on for the fourth time.  I was starting to get a little creeped out.  It was so weird.  I didn't think it was a message from God or anything.  I was just thinking K-Love was stalking me. :)

Friday I went over and I heard the song for the fifth time.  I remember sitting on the floor with my head in my hands and crying.  It was so moving, I didn't know what to do.  It was like, God was trying to send me this message and the whole time I wasn't picking up on it.  

I've never really been moved by songs.  They've been applicable to situations in my life and they've made me cry but I can only think of five songs that have really, honestly moved me.

1. Turn Around
2. More Beautiful You
3. I Won't Let Go
4. Have Your Way
5. And then some song that we sang at church that I can't remember the name of.... :)

It took me less than a minute to get the message after I had heard it for the fifth time.  

I needed to turn around and run back to God.  I hadn't really been walking with Him because I was afraid He didn't care about me because I had hurt myself so much that I didn't think even He would want me.

I was stuck in a really difficult place and I didn't know how to get out.  I was so sick of my life and I didn't want to keep on living something that was so difficult.  But then I got this little glimmer of hope from that song.  It was amazing.  

You might be wondering why I chose to write about this when this whole thing happened months ago.

I heard the song again today during breakfast. 

I own it and I listen to it a lot but there's something about hearing it on the radio that makes it really, really cool for me.

If you're scared that you don't matter
If you're lost and need to be found
If you're looking for a savior
All you gotta do is turn around
No one listens to you anymore
And your heart has broken down
You don't need to move
Love is come to you
All you gotta do is turn around

So, there's my 'rescue' story, as I like to call it.  Because it really is...

I really hope y'all have a great day and listen to K-Love all week because you never know what might happen.... :)

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